I have a strong desire to post something right now. But I'm not sure what. Maybe I just want the conversation. Ah, well. Soon, very soon, you and me, like the old days. And if we didn't share an old day...well, let us make a new one. oh, nostalgia, what a lovely beast...

stream of cautiousness

This week, I had finals. And now, I'm done.

I've come to a couple conclusions. I don't know what I want to do in life , and I don't think I ever will. That kind of decision just isn't possible for me. What confidence one would have to have to make such a claim. But it's not just I lack confidence in my abilities, as in "I'm a big wussy-pants." I lack the confidence that the decisions I make today will be one's I will agree with tomorrow. Agree with? I don't know if that's right. Actually, decisions seems kinda broad too. I think I mean those big decisions, the big decisions that have to do with career paths, like what I want to do with my life. I lack the confidence that the career I pick will be something I really care about. And God forbid, I do something I don't really care about. cause then it would just be a job, for the money's sake. And what if the money doesn't motivate me. Then I won't do my job, and then I won't get the money. Then the world will know what I lazy, apathetic ass I am.
So what it sounds like to me is I'm too afraid to make decisions, because if I do then I've committed to trying to succeed at something. and I'm not sure that I'll always feel like succeeding. And when a point comes when I don't feel like it I might stop trying, which would obviously impede my succeeding and thus result in the opposite of success. Which wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that ones failures, more often than not, affect others.

seriously? This is my post? Somebody needs to hang out with friends more often. Somebody needs to get more involved in church. Somebody needs to not being blogging in a dark room by himself.

I blog therefore I am...

Perhaps I should drop the 'mons from my name. I'll start the day by placing a wired helmet on my head with computerized goggles to match. We'll shake virtual hands on the virtual porch and spend our days dancing around the motherboard. We could start our own country and call it simulation nation. It will all be grand, until we start to realize we've been in the dark for ages, and the world is but a 12 in. screen. . the lcd is fading, and we are still awaiting Christ's luminous return. Buy my eyes, they burn now and I fear I may miss it.

Well...

i've felt like a band working on it's sophmore album these last couple of weeks. I'm sure you know how that feels. I appreciate the praise, but man, you sure know how to shut a guy up. I can't handle the pressure. my name is joe, average joe. hear my mediocrity!

K's cousin, husband and 2 kids came for a visit this weekend. They have a 3 year old son and a 3 month old girl. I cooked up a hot dog for colby (three year old son) on Saturday and to my suprise found my ketchup bottle had a portrait of a cock on it. Would anybody, perhaps, know the origins of this tagging? Our beloved 50's table also got perminatly marked the night of the party. But...such is the price of good friends.

KDS and KCS at the BBC

Belmont Brewing company has great beers, good food and amazing vegitarian pizza. After splitting a pitcher of beer and said pizza we made our way home. K Love fell fast asleep on the couch early in the evening's episode, leaving the special sauce to rot here on the internet. I spent some time with Tom Sawyer, he struggling with his conscience, and some time in statistics with some struggles of my own. But as it goes, I find my self returning to the blog for some false sense of fellowship, the vicious, and ridiculous cycle. With my links exhausted, I retire.