I'm currently writing a paper on 2 Esdras found in the Apocrypha. Martin Luther thought it was shit and probably hates me for wasting ink and parchment on it. He threw it into a river. I leave that for dmh to worry about. I will concern myself with what jesus thinks. He thinks I should shut my mouth, atleast that's what james says he thinks. James is probably right that he thinks that and Jesus is probably right to think that. This message has been brought to you by kcs' inability to write right. Thanks for allowing us to shit on you. right.

Good Night folks.

I think I'll write.

I think I'll start with an essay comparing and contrasting the concept of reincarnation in Hindu and Buddhist traditions. Then maybe I'll move to something more broad, "What is religion?".
after that, I think I will define source criticism, and provide an illustration of it by applying it's methods to the festival calenders found in Exodus and Levitucus. And then, I think I'll write about why there are 2 creation accounts found in Genesis, their meanings, and whether or not they are to be taken as historical fact. I think I will write about all these things by tuesday. And I think they will be shit. I think they will be shit because I am writing on a blog, watching bourne identity and drinking wine with my wife instead of thinking about writing about reincarnation, religion, source criticism and creation condradictions.

I'm an asshole

I have a bible class. It's my first with those who don't share my faith. I think the class is filled with morans, or morons. (I think Moran was a gang in some gangsta card game. The mouse would know what it was called.) But anyways, I find myself very annoyed. The class is filled with comments you would expect from the coffee shop athiest, you know the one with a pony tail and a couple philosophy classes under his belt. Jokes of smiting, excommunication, and judgement are a sure crowd pleaser in this class. Today we read in Numbers about Balaam and his talking ass. And the giggles rang out. I rolled my eyes at such jr. high behavior. There is nothing funny about The Lord our God Speaking through somebody's ass!

I've always thought of grace as an act of God after we sin. The antibiotic. I hope I can fix this view. I fear it's terribly incomplete. Is it not by God's grace that we deprive our temptation, overcome our sin, or desire a better self? Is it not by God's grace that we are kept from sinning in the first place? Perhaps if I understood better the part grace plays before sin, I would, with grace, better overcome sin.

I've been reading Entering into the Heart of Jesus: Meditations on the Indwelling Trinity in St. John's Gospel. It's by George A Maloney. It's a book I've read often, but never all the way through. I usually pick it up when I have not been reading, and am feeling convicted. I pick it up and say, "this time, I will finish."
A quote from the book quoting St. John Chrysostom:

And to show the love He has for us He has made it possible for those who desire, not merely to look upon Him, but even to touch Him and to consume Him and to fix their teeth in His flesh and to be commingled with Him; in short, to fulfill all their love. Let us, then, come back from the table like lions breathing out fire, thus becoming terrifying to the Devil and remaining mindful of our Head and the love which he has shown us. (I like that last part.)

My mom used to say something about how much she loved me or how cute I was and follow it up with, "I could just eat you up!" This would then be followed by numerous wet kisses all over the face of a squirmy little boy. At the time, I found it very annoying, and drew no more conclusions about it. These days I think I understand a little better, for, every once in a while I have to a strange desire, when contemplating my love for lady k, to bite her. Love and appetite. The Eucharist. Love is consuming and consumption.

My parents gave me this book. It had meant so much to both of them. For my mother I think it was the comforting thoughts of God's invitation into "the triune community of love." For my father it explained the Trinity in a way that finally made sense to him. He felt such relief in comprehending. I guess the clover thing never did it for him.

My parents are divorced now, and have been for a couple of years, and separated for a few years more. I remember when I found out they were separated. They were living in two different states, so I probably should have gotten a clue. But it was disguised a very long moving process. The night my mom called I was with two friends Hamilton and Parker. Parker is now Bryant, but that is neither here nor there. Or is it? I guess an argument could be made for here being Bryant and there being Parker. But this argument would only occur in my own head, and therefore would most likely remain unresovled, as perhaps it should. Hamilton broke his "I'm not drinking alcohol" phase for me and we all drank red wine! It was good to have friends near.

Mom got a new job and is moving out of Augusta, GA and up to DC, close to her grandchildren. She starts this week. Dad got promoted to Vice President of US Manufacturing for _______(insert maker of feminine products and baby stuff), just got engaged to his new lady friend and is moving to Dover, Delaware where he will be closer to his grandchildren. I am predicting lot's of grandchildren being eaten up. Hamilton has moved to Idaho and is buying a house. Parker is now Bryant and teaches freshman English.