The Mississippi Rio West and the Mouse of Light

to move is to be alive, a decision acted upon and thus a recognition of existance. Now that I am one with another, I can justify these yearnings with finacial matters and future ventures, but this is not why I move. I have always had a hard time with the physical "home." (I speak conceptually here.) Perhaps this is why I move, I am seeking this physical "home". The hindus have a sacred sound pronounce "om." It is the infinite, representing Brahman and the entire universe...(my brain made a connection there but I don't feel like explaining it) More likely, though, I think I just get bored. I have always become bored with my surroundings. Hindsight has left me wishing I hadn't grown so bored sometimes (i.e. the halfway to whittier transition). When friends continued the party into whittier, I moved into the hellhole. These "what if's" and "what could have been's" seem such a vicious spiral. I tend to spend very little time indulging them. which leads me to the memories out of which my choices have scripted; The billy porch where we came to know each other; visits from matt; Fountain Valley and a friend named hickey, (whom I just found out has become a father); Long Beach, Billy, Dan and of course my lady. As much as I would have loved to have been apart of the defining moments in much of my friends lives, I can't help but be satisfied with the choices I've made. If there was a word that meant sad/happy I would write it here now to describe this feeling. Perhaps the french have such a word.
my home now, is in my lady, and I pray this never bores me. If you think this a horrible thing to say, forgive me. I have always looked up to my father, related with him and thus, thought myself like him. Then one day he up and divorced his wife. He say's he never really loved her. I can only hope this to be true, because I love my lady like no other. But having grown up in that house, it can be sometimes hard to reconcile.
...so here I am packing yet again, with hopes of meeting one more year of memorable satisfaction.
cheesy? yes, but I've got a few in me, so kiss off!
If your reading this blog and care about these words then I'm sure I feel the same and hope and need more time with you in the future.

Love,
Keith