choked

I'm taking choke back to the library tomorrow. I don't won't to read it. Perhaps another time. There are other things I should be and have been reading. and that seems to be what I need. I feel like reading one of those good, bad books. The one's that are completely dumb, trivial, typical... (however you want to describe it), but for what ever reason, at the time it seems like the perfect book.

When I was in the hospital with the cancer some years back, I received a large quantity of books from friends and family. All the books I thought I wanted to read, however, became so damn annoying in that sterile environment. My sister sent me some john grisham book about christmas. It was short and didn't seem to be about his typical subjects, so I said, "why not". That was perfect... sentimental shit, that somehow just hit the spot.

What about you? Ever find yourself with your nose buried in shit, and taking in the circumsancial sweetness, crying out, "Yes! Thank you!"?

Weekend update w/ KCS

The relations, as j likes to call them, were in town this weekend, and kid's were abundant. K decided that she will never have kids, and I decided that that scares me more then the thought of having them. I had good times playing with the 4 year old. Kids are so much fun, especially when they like you, and they aren't whining. People say the whining and crying isn't so bad when its your kids. But that just sounds like a bunch of BS. If I ever convince Lady k to crouch drop a baby or two, then our baby's will be super happy and will always like me. The four year old thinks Long Beach is the coolest place in the world. It has a beach and a whole bunch of big boats that just sit around out there. And the waves don't hurt.

I finished a long way down. I really enjoyed the writing, but then I got to the end and realized there wasn't much of a story. When I closed the book, i felt nothing. I think I prefer to feel something at the end of a book. When I close a book I like to feel like I've just been through something and come out on the other end feeling new. Like my world has been changed. Atleast for those couple seconds before you get up outta your seat and start doing the dishes or something. With all that said I think I liked it. I'm not sure why yet though, because of the whole closed book feeling I just discussed. I'll have to get back to you.

Kilgore Trout

I finished Jailbird today. Apparently he died yesterday. I found this out moments, pages before finishing the book. So Sad!

ahamilton is a toad

So I'm taking a children's lit. class and I must read wind in the willows by Wednesday. Yesterday being Monday I thought I would start. Perhaps some of you are thinking this is plenty of time. However, having never been a part of any prestigious honor society, this, to me, is a daunting task.

Once upon a time the friendly folks of the bayou thought it grand to assign animal traits to all the cool kids. I was the "badger". I had never met a badger but trusted that my more intellectual friends had, and thus humored the idea. It was sure better then a sun bear. I am a few pages in and have now met the badger. I get it. But I have also met the toad. He reminds me so much of a young ahamilton. A passionate little amphibian, holding amusement and disintrest for a thing in a single breath. A toad of discovery, of adventure, he is. I think I like the Toad, second only to our misunderstood friend the Badger. He's my favorite.

I've been reading Entering into the Heart of Jesus: Meditations on the Indwelling Trinity in St. John's Gospel. It's by George A Maloney. It's a book I've read often, but never all the way through. I usually pick it up when I have not been reading, and am feeling convicted. I pick it up and say, "this time, I will finish."
A quote from the book quoting St. John Chrysostom:

And to show the love He has for us He has made it possible for those who desire, not merely to look upon Him, but even to touch Him and to consume Him and to fix their teeth in His flesh and to be commingled with Him; in short, to fulfill all their love. Let us, then, come back from the table like lions breathing out fire, thus becoming terrifying to the Devil and remaining mindful of our Head and the love which he has shown us. (I like that last part.)

My mom used to say something about how much she loved me or how cute I was and follow it up with, "I could just eat you up!" This would then be followed by numerous wet kisses all over the face of a squirmy little boy. At the time, I found it very annoying, and drew no more conclusions about it. These days I think I understand a little better, for, every once in a while I have to a strange desire, when contemplating my love for lady k, to bite her. Love and appetite. The Eucharist. Love is consuming and consumption.

My parents gave me this book. It had meant so much to both of them. For my mother I think it was the comforting thoughts of God's invitation into "the triune community of love." For my father it explained the Trinity in a way that finally made sense to him. He felt such relief in comprehending. I guess the clover thing never did it for him.

My parents are divorced now, and have been for a couple of years, and separated for a few years more. I remember when I found out they were separated. They were living in two different states, so I probably should have gotten a clue. But it was disguised a very long moving process. The night my mom called I was with two friends Hamilton and Parker. Parker is now Bryant, but that is neither here nor there. Or is it? I guess an argument could be made for here being Bryant and there being Parker. But this argument would only occur in my own head, and therefore would most likely remain unresovled, as perhaps it should. Hamilton broke his "I'm not drinking alcohol" phase for me and we all drank red wine! It was good to have friends near.

Mom got a new job and is moving out of Augusta, GA and up to DC, close to her grandchildren. She starts this week. Dad got promoted to Vice President of US Manufacturing for _______(insert maker of feminine products and baby stuff), just got engaged to his new lady friend and is moving to Dover, Delaware where he will be closer to his grandchildren. I am predicting lot's of grandchildren being eaten up. Hamilton has moved to Idaho and is buying a house. Parker is now Bryant and teaches freshman English.

KDS and KCS at the BBC

Belmont Brewing company has great beers, good food and amazing vegitarian pizza. After splitting a pitcher of beer and said pizza we made our way home. K Love fell fast asleep on the couch early in the evening's episode, leaving the special sauce to rot here on the internet. I spent some time with Tom Sawyer, he struggling with his conscience, and some time in statistics with some struggles of my own. But as it goes, I find my self returning to the blog for some false sense of fellowship, the vicious, and ridiculous cycle. With my links exhausted, I retire.